Life and death

Once again, my country, Malaysia, is struck with another air tragedy. Some may say it's bad luck. Some may say Malaysia Airlines is cursed. Authorities are scrambling around looking for the people responsible for shooting down MH 17. MH 370 is yet to be found. But this post is dedicated to the families and friends of the passengers and crews of MH 370 and MH 17. To the people that has lost their loved ones.

My parents fly around constantly for their jobs. It is a norm for me and my siblings to see my parents go off to the airport. It has gotten to a point where I don't really bother to ask them where are they going and when are they getting back. I took it for granted that wherever they go, they will definitely come back. But when the first air tragedy struck, I was shaken awake to the fact that I should never take things for granted. It never occur to me that my parents might never make it back home. That is when I woke up and started to change my perspective on life and death.

Life is so precious and fragile. Death is unavoidable in this world. It's never easy when Death comes knocking at your door. Even when you have prepared yourself to the fact that someone you love is going to die, it's still hard to let go. What about those people that have not prepare themselves to say goodbye forever to their loved ones? Worst still, those people are actually expecting a joyous reunion instead of a grievous forever separation. They have a bright future ahead, so much more to live for. Yet Death comes when we least expected it.

My grandfather's death is unexpected to me too. He was so strong and healthy when I saw him a few days before he passed away. Suddenly, he died in his sleep. Just like that. Gone forever. I never get to say goodbye. It was a horrible blow for me as I was very close to him. I know that comparing this with the air tragedy, it's nothing. But still, it's grief all the same. It's still death.

In Christian context, we believe that there is an eternal life after our earthly death. We believe we will go to heaven and someday we will meet our loved ones again. We take comfort in that when we bid our loved ones goodbye. We say we will see you again someday. It's a mixture of sadness and happiness for us Christians. Sad because of the separation. But joy because the deceased has gone to a far better place and will be waiting for us there. 

But putting religion aside, how do we deal with grief? Does time really heals? For me, time only numbs the pain but will never really heal the wound. There will always be a scar left behind. I can never really empathise with the people that lost their loved ones that were on board MH 370 and MH 17. I have never really been through that. But I can somehow understand the feeling of losing someone forever. The pain and the wound that is left behind.

What had happened has already happened. There is no way we can turn back the clock and stop them from going on board that flight. There is nothing we can do to change the fact that they have died and gone forever. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Instead of living in the past and grief for what had happened, why not we live for the future and cherish the lives that are still here with us? 

There is no point living in hatred or regret or whatever negative emotions. What is done, is done. Why live like that and make yourself suffer? Will you really feel better if the people that shot down the plane be executed for their actions? Maybe you will feel better but it still doesn't change the fact that your loved one is still dead. Change your perspective. Embrace life and live it to the fullest. Appreciate and cherish the people that are still around you. I believe your loved one would have wanted you to live a full life instead of being a walking corpse.

If you can't live your life for yourself, live it for them. Be thankful for their lives and that they came into your life and brighten your day. Take delight in all the memories and moments that you have shared with them and be happy that at least you get to share it with them. Look at what you have had instead of what you have lost. It makes things easier.

All I can say is, LIVE. Never ever take things for granted. I understand that life is so short and precious and there isn't time or space to grief for the past for too long. Instead, I LIVE. For the future. For here. For now. I always appreciate the time I get to spend with the people that are still around me. So that when they are gone, I will have no regrets whatsoever. I will not say, why I didn't spend more time with him/her? I will send them off saying, we have a full and happy long life. Rest in peace.

To all the families and friends of the passengers and crews on board MH 370 and MH 17, my deepest condolences to you all. May God bless you all, help and comfort you all through this hard time.